Warm Takes - Episode 6: Flexible Jeans
Flexible jeans should be in the top 20 inventions of the last 20 years. Sure, we've seen leaps in computing. Watched as the internet went from a barely navigable interface to an integral part of our daily lives. And, we've witnessed unimaginable feats of engineering from space to medicine. However, if it wasn't for flexible jeans all of these leaps would be stiff and uncomfortable.
If you are reading this and have no clue what I'm talking about, I implore you to get out of your chair and rush to your nearest clothing store. Go change your life forever.
For years, the fashion industry has cut, tucked, hemmed, and sewn things onto fabric in a three-card monty-esque attempt at luring us into their trap of remaining fashionable. Throughout that time we've seen the rise and fall of different fabrics, promising the future of stylish comfort. But through it all, the denim jean continued it's grasp on the market of casual wear. Or formal wear if you pair it with a denim jacket and happen to live in Canada.
But, if you were like me, jeans never felt good to wear. They're stiff and unforgiving to your movement, unless you haven't washed them in a couple weeks. And as I grew my dad bod, they continued to encroach on my personal space in a way that felt like I could cancel my vasectomy appointment.
Then, one glorious day at a Mark's Work Warehouse, I came across a pair of jeans emblazoned with the word, FlexTech, across the waistline. I grabbed a pair for the change room with a couple of my normal jeans in various shades of blue.
As I slipped the jeans on, you could feel them come alive. It was like salsa music started playing and I couldn't help but get my limbs going. It was like wearing a custom formed outfit, made of pure comfort. I instantaneously had two thoughts. The first was, "Wow! These feel great! Are they actually jeans?" The second was, "Is this how comfortable yoga pants are?". The answer to both of those questions is, yes! They were fantastic. I could bend. I could squat. I could kick above my head if I was able to do that. Years of disgust at the jeans I'd worn was washed away in the smooth fit of FlexTech.
My negative attitude towards jeans started when I was a kid. My parents constantly bought me these tummy poking jeans and I constantly complained about them. So much so, that most of my childhood was spent wearing Dockers. Yes, I was that kid in school rocking the docks (not a saying by the way). I wore them from middle school right up through college. I was peer pressured a little more in university to cast my khaki's aside, but jeans were always second in my heart.
But these FlexTech jeans had the style the world had come to love combined with the fit and flex of sweatpants. It was truly an incredible feeling. I quickly ditched every pair of classic jeans and immediately stocked up on FlexTech. I bought more pairs of jeans than I'd owned in the last 20 years. Not just because I liked them so much, but because I was truly worried this brilliant pant would be a limited time offer.
If you know me, you'd know fashion plays a tiny role in my life. I currently wear whatever my partner picks up for me. But no matter what tops she decides she'd like to stare at on me all day, there is no discussion on what my pants will be; flexible jeans.